Memo

September 15th, 2009

Dear Ms. (Almost Dr.) Moody,
Based on the feedback that I received from Jade, I have concluded that I need to utilize more detail in the middle-conclusion of my memoir. She suggested that I describe my backyard, garage, and size of the fire more vividly. This told me that she had some trouble understanding the scenery and what was going on in the story. To Fix this, I plan on describing in detail, the surroundings of my garage, including what types of things were in there and what it looked like from my view (e.g. color, size, etc.). I also plan to describe the scenery in my back yard. Everything was looked at from a different perspective when I was that age and that size and I want to be able to express how it appeared through my youthful eyes to the reader. Jade also recommended that I describe more thoroughly the size and rapidity of the flame as it grew into a "raging fire", and I plan on doing so.
And finally, she noticed something that I had done accidentally; I used exposition to describe that I was a sort of mischievous child. She used that to guess how I was going to respond to finding the box of matches, that I was going to play with them and start a fire. I hope to successfully expand on this exposition to craft elements of foreshadowing into my memoir. Once I complete these tasks, my memoir will encompass strong visuals that will help the reader visualize my anecdote's significance.
-Austin Thomas